Fifty Shades of Shut My Mouth

So.....have you heard about the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy?  Better yet, have you read any of the books?

Confession #1.  I downloaded the books on Saturday and had book #1 read by Monday afternoon.  And I am the person who NEVER has time to read.....I mean, never.  I have books on the shelf dog-eared on page 12 collecting dust.  I have downloads on my Nook collecting dust.  I never have time to read, but oh did I find time to read Fifty Shades of Grey.  And am finding time to now read Fifty Shades Darker.

I heard plenty of scuttle around the mommy blogs over the books, but it took a few friends mentioning them to really raise my eyebrow.  I didn't want to miss out on anything, especially if it really was as good as I was hearing! 

Ummmm, and yeah, it was that good!  At least the erotic scenes were that good.  I was impressed. 

Confession #2.  This is not my first run-in with erotic literature.  I am no stranger to Penthouse Stories, Erotic Journals and other short, sexy stories.  You see, reading has always been an indulgence for me.  A way to escape and relax.  So why shouldn't it have found a way under my covers as well!  I will say I have never actually bought a 'sexy' book at a 'real' book store, so maybe that was a first with Fifty Shades. 

BUT, and if you blindly love EL James and Fifty Shades, you may want to turn away now.

I do struggle with the actual content and writing in the series.  (SPOILER ALERT)

I mean, who would ever really say, "I am going to take you now in the shower."  Really?  Seriously?  Just when I am getting into a scene, she has to throw up this grandiose remark from the 1800's!?!?  Ahhh, it just killed the mood for me. 

Confession #3.  Only relevant to Christian Gray fans, but Mr. Grey is not my hero.  At least not by the end of book #1 anyhow.  While I may be willing to sign his contract with a few edits, I just find him to be an arrogant asshole.  I mean really, don't touch me.  Keep your eyes looking down.  Wear what I buy you.  Because I am a control freak and I know it.  GAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  I want to punch him between his beautiful grey eyes!

As the ladies and I in my 'Fifty Shades of F'ked Up' book club discuss, it is enlightening that a book has caused so many candid, open discussions on erotic reading.  There are oodles of books with graphic scenes in them that we all have been sneaking off of library shelves for years, but this book has jumped up, front and center, and stolen the stage when it comes to a little freaky love.  Not sure what the catalyst was/is, but I am amused to see the conversations, and the fifty shades of blushing many women have from it all.

I'm off to tackle Mr. Grey....ahem, I mean a few more chapters in my book. 

laters, baby.